PO3tRi
Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 7
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Okay.I have posted this question on my blog and I got a lot of criticism for it...lol...now I'm posting it here just to see what your views are on the subject
Question:
Is it okay for someone to date someone that their friend has previously dated? Why or Why not?
Now I know that most people have been taught that it is taboo to date someone your friend once dated because it isn't good for the friendship, friends think you are disloyal for doing so and so forth-But I disagree. I feel like God put someone here for everybody and just because that person was not the one for your friend, does not mean he/she is not the one for you. Maybe you two have more in common. Why should you miss out on a good relationship just because he/she dated your friend?
I also feel that because we are so quick to jump into relationships with just anyone without waiting on God, we end up with so many failed relationships.
Then we expect our exes to be "off limits" to our friends when that person may just be the one that God wants them to be with.
What do u think?
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Achoo...Allergic 2 Stupidity!!! |
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toni
Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 1
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Reply with quote | #2 |
well first of all that's a area that no one wants to be caught in because it carry with it so mush confusion and God is not the author of that. So you run the risk of losing a friend and so on, but if that's OK for you then so be it. Eventually as time move on it will heal and life goes on and then time will tell. but I do understand what you mean when you say how people marry people and then when it dint work out, that is someone Else's husband. Sounds crazy but that's life and life goes on. And as women we must stop being so selfish. We dint want them and we dint want no one else to have them,but that's crazy. So i say someone will get him .You are not GOD to decide who gets who you work on you and when you do that the rest will work out its self.
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antoniawright |
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sistaperry
Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 6
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Reply with quote | #3 |
This is a dilemma that needs to be met with a lot of thought. Personally, that is a line I would not cross just because I'm loyal. There have been countless times that I was faced with this situation in the course of my life. My girlfriend's exes would always try to talk to me, but I would tell them that they should have thought of that before they dated my friend. Sometimes guys like to conquer women like animals conquer their prey. It's all a great big conquest of sorts.
When it comes to friendships, one should ponder what the word "friend" really means. How important is this particular friend to you? Another question to ask is why did he wait to date your friend instead of dating you in the first place? Are you game to have someone else's sloppy seconds? I say sloppy seconds because you are the girl's friend. In actuality, we all have had someone else's sloppy seconds unless we dated a virgin, but in this case, it is obvious. Finally, the last question is how does the girlfriend feel about it? Is he fair game? Maybe, he was a boy toy that she doesn't mind sharing. Hey, men do it all the time.
My opinion is not to cross the line if the person is a real friend to you. Men come and go, but true friendships generally stand the test of time. Oftentimes, we have to make sacrifices. If being in any relationship hurts someone else, then it is off limits unless it is a deranged, ex-wife who doesn't want to let go. Although we may want to make that man our boyfriend or husband, if it hurts your friend, don't do it.
Sistaperry
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PO3tRi
Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 7
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Reply with quote | #4 |
If being in any relationship hurts someone else, then it is off limits unless it is a deranged, ex-wife who doesn't want to let go.-Bwahahaha...now THAT was funny...
I can agree with what both of you are saying but what I'm saying is if we weren't so quick to jump into relationships and bed with just anyone, without him/her being sent to you by God, then there would be no need to be "disloyal" to your friends by dating their exes, they wouldn't have exes because they'd be with the person God wants them to be with. BUT since People are so quick and needy that instead of getting to know just who they are, spending time with themselves (because they fear being alone), and waiting on God to deliver, that they just go for who ever looks good and talks good at the time, and then when it doesn't work out because Newsflash, it was not destined to work out to begin with. Then they want to say "well, you can't date him/her because I did. Thats crazy to me.
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Achoo...Allergic 2 Stupidity!!! |
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